Surrogate
by starbuckjade
Summary: Post "Brown Eyed Girl". Jane looks for a way to deal with a difficult case and finds the answer in Maura.


**Alright, show of hands, who needed a hug after the episode "Brown Eyed Girl"?** **Everyone? :) Good. Well here it is. Enjoy.**

**PS: Keys to the Kingdom Chapter 8 is right around the corner. I promise! :)**

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><p>Her day had been endlessly long. As Maura correctly pointed out, it wasn't just one day but two stuck together. It had been stressful and emotionally taxing; but they got their happy ending. Mandy was home safe with her family and Sophie's parents finally had closure. And yet the feeling of loss and fear, the gut wrenching idea of what those two sick fucks did to children...it all still haunted her. Jane had spent years on the job; dealing with the worst humanity had to offer: serial killers, rapists and child molesters. Days like the one she just had couldn't be easily rinsed off. A simple shower couldn't clear her mind or cleanse her soul. That was the problem with police work. After a few years, the darkness and the evil began to taint your life. It creeps in so subtly that you don't even realize it's there. It ruins marriages and destroys family. For good cops, it's a burden, a barrier between them and their love ones. Jane had never met a cop that didn't internalize the job. Some found religion, some found the bottle, but all of them tried to keep their family safe from what they had to see on a daily basis. Even the best husbands and fathers begin to pull away from their families, just like her old partner. Not because they loved their spouses and children any less, but to protect them: from the darkness, the evil and from themselves.<p>

That was one of the few things about her job she really hated, that and the fact that sometimes the bad guys won.

She took a long pull of her beer, her eyes meeting Maura's across the booth. Days like today gave her new found respect for her friend. The blonde could be a medical researcher, a fashion designer or simply spend her days sitting on her plush white couch eating bonbons. Instead she was right there with them, in the muck and grime, day after day. She could never properly express how much she admired and respected the medical examiner for that.

"As much as I love spending..." she glanced at her watch, "thirty-three hours straight with you guys. I think I'm going to call it a day."

Korsak pulled a face, "You're only going to stay for one beer?"

Jane rolled her eyes, "That's your second, old man. Don't think I'm not watching." She nudged the older detective until he let her out of the booth as she watched Maura do the same.

"You leaving us too, Doc?" Frost asked as he quickly stood like a proper gentleman to let her out of the booth.

The blonde nodded, "It has been quite a long day."

"Fine fine, go. Don't worry about the paperwork until tomorrow though; I cleared it with the Captain." Korsak offered as he waved goodbye.

Jane gave him a brief smile as she led Maura outside.

"Would you like me to drive you back to the station to get your car? Or I can drive you straight home." Maura offered as they walked a few paces to the curb.

"Can I come over to your place?" Jane asked quietly. She had no interest in being alone, despite what she said inside her favorite bar.

"Of course." Maura answered.

The drive was quiet, the traffic light for a change: a rarity in Boston. Her eyes couldn't help drifting to the woman in her passenger seat. Jane looked weary. The kind of bone deep tired that she had observed during Jane's last encounter with Charles Hoyt. She knew something was bothering Jane. As she turned into her drive way she fervently hoped she would be able to pull it out of her detective before it got any worse.

Jane looked up from her daze as the car pulled to a stop. The detective was happy to see the front of Maura's home and not her guest house. She knew that both she and Maura had gone a little stir crazy during her recovery. Jane spent her days watching the home shopping channel while Maura bought a house and redesigned it from top to bottom. A few things she liked. The stained glass window for one, but the two goats above the door were seriously creepy. They always seemed like they were watching her.

Thankfully Maura's home didn't have any new design touches. And the only thing that stared at her was Bass. But that was okay; because she was reasonably sure she could take him in a fight...or at least out run him.

Jane sunk down onto Maura's couch, sighing and rolling her shoulders in an effort to get the tense muscles to relax. She could hear Maura in the kitchen, but she couldn't find the energy to go help her friend. The blonde appeared a few moments later with a bottle of beer for Jane and a glass of wine for herself. She set both down on the glass insert of her coffee table before disappearing again.

The brunette eyed the beer for a moment before taking several large gulps. She paused to breath before chugging the rest of it. Maura appeared again, "I ordered us a pizza." She announced as she walked into the room. She intended to slip between her guest and the coffee table and take a seat beside the brunette but Jane never gave her the chance.

Jane pulled the blonde into her arms and onto her lap. Ignoring her friend's gasp of surprise, she placed her head on the blonde's shoulder and nuzzled into the soft sweet smelling curtain of hair. Maura shifted slightly before resting all of her weight against the detective and slipping her hand into Jane's. "Is there something you need to tell me?" The blonde asked quietly, not wanting to break the intimate moment they had fallen in to.

"Some of us don't have over-sized pink bears to hold." Jane's reply was whispered against the blonde's ear, making her shiver at the contact.

"I hope you see me as more than a surrogate stuffed animal." Maura retorted.

"Of course I do." Jane muttered good-naturedly. "We're L-Bifs."

They both chuckled at that.

They sat in silence for a few minutes until Jane finally took a deep breath and let it out. "Sometimes the job gets to me, you know? Kids...I fucking hate when it's kids. It wasn't just any kid either, it was one I know, or knew at least. I was at Mandy's christening for god sakes. " Jane took a few shuttering breaths, "I know we saved Mandy and that's great. But what about Sophie? She was tortured and raped for years...no one should ever have to go through that, let alone a child."

Maura could hear Jane's tears and feel them as they tracked down both their cheeks. Jane sniffled softly before continuing, "Getting drunk with the guys at the Robber wasn't going to fix that. I needed to get out of there."

"And hold your teddy bear." Maura added; her hand giving Jane's a gentle squeeze.

"Shut up." Jane grumbled, although Maura could feel her smile against her cheek. "What you said is true, you know. I said I didn't want to get married or have kids because I didn't want to go through that kind of pain: and the fear and loss that goes with it. But I realized something. I was already in their shoes...when you were taken."

"Oh Jane..." The blonde murmured softly, giving the brunette's hand a much firmer squeeze.

"We had no leads, Maura. No way to track you. Not knowing what happened to you, not being able to do anything to find you...it was tearing me up inside. I would have done anything to get you back." Jane wiped at the tears spilling down her cheeks, she hated showing this kind of weakness.

"Would you have killed someone to get to me?" Maura asked. She had wanted to know since Jane had answered her phone call with, 'Whatever you want I can get it.'

Jane bit her lip. The truth was she would kill more than just 'someone' she would kill a lot of someones. It wasn't right or politically correct but she knew when it came right down to it that she would do anything to keep Maura safe.

"I would have done everything in my power to get to you and keep you safe." Jane answered softly.

"Jane..." Maura turned in her arms, kissing her on one cheek then the other before pulling her into a tight hug.

Jane held on to her best friend as if her life depended on it. This case had shaken her more than even she realized. She faced down one of Boston's most notorious serial killers, she shot herself to kill a suspect holding her hostage so her brother could get the medical treatment he desperately needed and she even wrestled a suspect holding a live grenade. But this... this case felt entirely different.

She felt Maura start to pull away and quickly used humor to try to lighten the mood. "You going Italian on me, Doc?"

The blonde blushed a little, "A kiss on each cheek is the customary greeting of Italy." Her thumb brushed along Jane's bottom lip. "I wanted to give you an Irish kiss, but I wasn't sure how you'd react." She whispered.

Jane chuckled softly, before giving the blonde a quick peck on the lips. "An Irish kiss is either a black eye or a drink so strong it will knock you on your ass."

"Oh." Maura frowned, "I meant a kiss from an Irish person. Kissing a person of Irish decent is supposed to be lucky." She suggested, her eyes drifting to Jane's lips. The blonde cupped Jane's cheek, pulling her into a kiss. This one was more than merely a quick peck. Their lips brushed sensuously together, becoming acquainted in an intimate age old dance. The kiss was soft and innocent, but it held a longing that neither of them could deny.

"I certainly feel lucky." Jane responded as the kiss broke.

Maura nodded, her fingertip tracing Jane's plump lips. "We should probably discuss this." Her eyes locked with Jane's for several moments, neither of them vocalizing their thoughts on the subject.

The door bell interrupted their moment.

Jane shook her head slowly, "No talking tonight. We're going to eat pizza and find a stupid comedy to watch on TV. And when it's over we're going to bed, because we could both use the rest." She stood and held out her hand to the blonde.

Maura nodded, taking Jane's hand and rising to her feet. "I'll get dinner." She answered, moving past Jane towards the front door.

"Maura?" Jane called just before she was out of the room.

"Yes, Jane?"

"I might have to hold my teddy bear for a little while longer tonight."

The blonde gave her best friend a heartfelt smile, "I don't think that will be a problem."

Jane nodded as she sat back down on the couch. Maura's smile alone gave her hope for the future. Sure they were going to have hard cases, one's that shook them and made it just a little harder to get up in the morning and do it all again. But she also knew that she had something very special with her best friend, something that went far beyond the boundaries of friendship. On another day it might scare her, but today it was a beacon of hope to cling to. Maura Isles was her future, she was certain of it. Jane Rizzoli had never been more certain of anything in her life, and that was enough for today.


End file.
